Laws the funny pages full#
Laws the funny pages professional#

The bill itself had to be at least 100 pages and full of millions of dollars of projects all over the state that promised to create thousands of jobs. When a legislator argued against a bill that he thought was bad, he stood up and said, 'I'm gonna have to go home after all this and drink myself into Bolivia (oblivion).' And in a committee meeting once, a member was getting peppered with tons of questions, and finally said, 'I'm trying to be as pacific (specific) as I can about the details of this bill.' In a very heated debate about a proposed sales tax increase to support education, one critic said, 'Education funding will not be the pancreas (panacea) for our problems.'Īnd my favorite of all is after a well-known, loved, and respected chairman stood before the other members for hours and hours discussing the merits of a bond bill. I've explained it for three hours now, and this is not rocket surgery (science).' His response to getting the same question asked again, 'Y'all just need to vote on this. In the middle of a very lengthy debate, a chairman was asked a question that he had already answered several hours earlier. Therefore, all these quotes are anonymous. The names of those legislators who spoke these one-liners have been deleted to protect the innocent and most have since retired or been retired from the legislature. Since we're looking at silly laws, it's only appropriate that we share a few funny things that some legislators have said over the years. Sometimes, those things said are really worth repeating for a good giggle. But when you're a legislator at the Mississippi Capitol, folks hang on your every word. Most of the time, these misspeaks go unnoticed by the listener. Slips of the tongue, these tiny jewels of humor, happen because with every 1,000 words spoken, we just make a mistake or two. Tongues get tied and words accidentally get misused. Just as with any other profession, funny things are said in the heat of healthy debate. (Well, maybe we'll get that into law one day soon! LoL) You might find out that it's illegal to put on makeup and drive at the same time. So when July 1 gets here, you better pay attention to what new laws go into effect. Those are some of the more colorful state laws we have here in Mississippi. There, now you can't say you didn't know. To repeat… it's illegal to sell the meat from a cat for food. But the question to ask is why do we have to have this state law? This law makes me a little queasy. It is illegal in our state to sell cat meat for food. This one's kinda gross, but you need to know it to avoid running amok of the law. That must've been a really big problem back when liquor was illegal in Mississippi. It's illegal for a law enforcement officer to 'sample the product' when a still was confiscated. Guess some folks just didn't wanna hire a lawyer and take care of these tree matters in the courtroom.īack in the day when moonshine whiskey was everywhere and folks had stills set up to cook their home brew, there had to be laws about consumption. Not sure how the spikes would hurt the logger, because it seems as though he'd be able to see that the tree was spiked.

My guess is that someone's child was injured after buying poison, so Mississippi outlawed it.ĭid you know that if you don't want loggers coming in and cutting down trees, you can't spike the tree to try and hurt the logger? That'd be illegal. Seriously, do we really need a law that forbids drugstores from selling a poison to children? I guess some folks just don't have good common sense. One of my favorite state laws is the one that says drugstores cannot sell poison to children. That almost begs the question, is it 'okay' to overcharge someone on everything else? And, it's illegal for a bridge toll collector to overcharge you. Hazing someone who joins a group and harassing a seeing-eye dog are both illegal. It's actually a crime to sleep in any of the rooms at the State Capitol… I'm sure this one's never enforced. Okay, here's the funny part… it's okay to bribe a wrestler! Yep, wrestling is exempt from this bribery law. If you're found guilty, you could pay a fine of $100 to $1,000 and maybe six months to five years in jail.

Laws the funny pages professional#

It's a felony to bribe any amateur or professional baseball, football, basketball, tennis or any other athletic player if you get them to throw a game or rig the score. If convicted, that could get you 6 months in jail and a $500 fine. And if you disrupt a church service, any citizen can arrest you. Vagrancy can land you in jail for up to 30 days or a fine of not more than $250.

When did we hang the last cattle thief? I'm not sure about that one. Well, shut the front door!! Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging! Texas, y'all ain't got nothing on us when it comes to stealing cattle.